


what are you doing?

by ABlueberry, HowDoINickname



Category: Undertale
Genre: Gen, Suicide Attempt, he almost kills himself, i am not good at writing, i have no clue how many chapters this is going to be, i just want you all to be happy please, if that triggers you watch out kiddies!!!!, like? chapter three, plz do not be triggered., probably smut later, sans is rlly depressed, this is kinda depressing, this is probably fan service
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7333339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABlueberry/pseuds/ABlueberry, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowDoINickname/pseuds/HowDoINickname
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>remember, momma blue<br/>☆. 。.:*~loves you~*:. 。.☆</p>
    </blockquote>





	what are you doing?

**Author's Note:**

> remember, momma blue  
> ☆. 。.:*~loves you~*:. 。.☆

this wasn't okay. the feeling that sans had around his brother wasn't okay and he knew that it wasn't okay but he just.. kept feeling it. he couldn't stop it, in the night when he was alone in his room he couldn't help but dream of his brothers phalanges-es digitorum-ses holding him tightly and digging into his bones through his jacket. he couldn't help but think about what it would feel like if papyrus pressed him gently against his broad sternum, not letting go. he wanted more than what little contact he was getting. all he ever got was beaten, and he wanted papyrus to see that maybe that wasn't the best way to go about things.

 

it was after an especially hard beating from his brother that he had left, he said that it was for good this time. he was going to go throw himself off the valley of dust's tallest peak. moving as fast as he could through the underbrush, as he had to be careful just waltzing through the forest. if anyone found him, he would be either held captive, or brought back to papyrus out of fear. neither of these really appealed to him as much as dying, so he tried to be as quiet as he could, barely even breathing, though he didn't really need to in the first place, it was more of a.. comfort, for him.

 

he was on that god damned rock now, he didn't care if it was telling him to get off, he was about to throw himself into a valley full of other monsters dead bodies. though as he looked off past the mountains, he saw the horizon, and decided that for his last moments, he was going to tell himself that he would just keep going. he would fly into the sun and go far away. far away from pain and far away from bloodthirsty monsters. he was going to go around the world more times than anyone else ever had one hundred times over, and we he was done, everything would be okay and he would be able to do whatever he wanted, no 'boss' to tell him what to do, no monsters out for blood, large and violent dogs wanting to use his bones as chew toys, no nothing. it would all be okay and he would be okay and it would be great.

 

maybe papyrus would even.. no. don't think like that, papyrus was a being of pure hatred. he was incapable of loving anyone, not even in a single universe would he ever be able to care about sans, not truly. he gulped thickly at that thought and stood up abruptly, walking to the edge and looking down at the dust-covered snow, the usual pure white covered up by a gray, little specs of red here and there from monsters that didn't turn to dust right away, and for a second, he was scared. little drips of a glowing red substance dripped onto the snow and when he reached up, he was surprised to find that it was his own eyes.

 

* * *

**_what was he doing?_ **

* * *

 

 

the fact was, that papyrus didn't know. searching, he guessed, but he didn't know for what. validation? a reason for his conflicted feelings for his brother, perhaps? or maybe it was just his brother. he didn't really know, or care at this point to be completely honest. he just wanted his brother back home. when it had dawned on him, the sickening realization of exactly how serious sans was about it, contrary to all his shitty jokes, he forgot to breathe. he forgot to do a lot of things, actually. well, it wasn't so much forgetting as it was not being able to. he had stayed outside, his body had froze up at the thought that sans might actually not come back, and he actually felt like he might cry from it. that thought sent him into a frenzy, and he ended up barfing all over the front lawn -and their horribly out of season christmas lights- before running after his brother. he didn't need to think about where sans was going, he already knew, but he was gazing off the edge of the cliff and he thought that maybe he saw a bit of sans' jacket down in the ash and snow, so he started screaming.

 

 ** _"SANS?? SANS, COME HOME! I-I HEATED UP SOME SPAGHETTI! I KNOW ITS NOT THE BEST, B-BUT I'M TRYING!! SANS I-IF YOU.. I-IF YOU DIED I-I'LL,,, I-I'M GONNA... IF Y-YOU DIED I'M GONNA K-K-KILL YOU, SANS!"_** his cries and screams became more sob-filled and desperate by the second. he was even admitting to his spaghetti not really being the most appetizing thing to eat, which he wouldn't have said at the sake of anyone but his brother.

 

he sniffled and looked around, spotting his brother on the other side of the crescent shaped chasm in the earth, sans eyes widened at the sight of papyrus crying over him.  
  
_**"SANS!"**_ papyrus sobbed out, running over to where his brother was, he tripped over multiple bushes and logs, but he made it. as soon as papyrus was over there, papyrus lifted a hand to place it on sans' shoulder, sans covered his head quickly and awaited a blow

 

" ** _SANS..?"_** he looked down a his hand and a look of pure horror made its way on to his face, he frantically moved, leaning down and hugging the significantly shorter skeleton. sniffling a bit  _ **"s-sans, i'm not.. going to hurt you. not anymore.."**_

__

this really surprised sans. was this a trick? no, no, papyrus was hugging him. sans couldn't help but hug back, burying his face into the nook of paps neck, crying into it. papyrus just rubbed soothing circles on his back, so soothing, in fact, that sans didn't even know where he would have learned such care. soon after that, papyrus picked sans up and smiled his ever-so-rare real smile. walking off towards the house with his brother in his arms. 

 

they walked past the puke, but sans decided against asking. the door opened with no problem and papyrus sat sans down on the sofa.

 

 _ **"STAY THERE, I'M GOING TO BRING YOU SOME SPAGHETTI. I NOTICE THAT YOU'VE LOST YOUR COAT, SO YOU MUST BE FREEZING. ITS GOING TO TAKE AWHILE, PLEASE BE PATIENT."**_ papyrus stated before walking into the kitchen, and leaving sans alone with his thoughts.


End file.
